


"I care about you, idiot"

by stainhermouthred



Series: Second Chances [1]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Deaf Character, F/M, death mention, post divorced couple, so it's set after Hawkeye #19, worried ex-wife
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 22:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2523530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stainhermouthred/pseuds/stainhermouthred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>" It’s Bobbi standing in the doors looking beaten up and fresh from the op judging by the blood on her clothes. Her hair was a mess and she looked tired but she still smirked at him<br/>“what  have you gotten yourself into?” "</p>
            </blockquote>





	"I care about you, idiot"

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything

Near death experience can be an awesome motivation and the source of anxiety yet after so many times it can make a man give up. He just felt numbness. Kate left him and didn’t even say a word while she was away. Jess left him too. He was an asshole to cheat on her. He didn’t even think twice about it and in Jess’ book it’s worse than the actual sleeping around. He did the right thing with the building and brought danger on civilians… and nearly lost his life. It was enough. So he had been playing an idiot and when it turned out he lost his hearing he gave up on communication at all.

Then Barney helped. The same Barney who tried to kill him. And his wife as a matter of fact. Ex-wife actually. Another good news he was  divorced. Officially completely single. Alone.

Anyway Barney helped him to get his ass up and start living again. And he still had his bow. Yes, that one love has never left him.

He was at his self-made shooting range when he saw Barney enter. Aware that there was a conversation in sight he put away the bow carefully and waited. As an agent he’s supposed to be mindful of his surroundings but that might be difficult considering the focus he needs to talk to anyone now.

“Sister in-law called. She said she’s pissed no one told her about what happened when she was off on a mission and she’ll break my jaw if it happens again.” Barney smirked at Clint “you sure have a thing for violent women don’t you?”

“She’s not you’re sister in-law anymore, divorced remember? And if she breaks you something you probably  deserved it”

“Right. Creepy redhead said that if she’s back tonight she’ll come over. And considering she wants to kick my ass for the very same reason I’m off. Have fun shooting, lady has her key” He winked at Clint and left him.

Bow. Arrow. Aim. Breathe. Shoot. He sincerely doubted Natasha would come. She talked to him briefly and told him that the op was to take about a month. And Black Widow is nothing but professional. She would finish the op before checking on him.  The only time she disobeyed was when she and Sharon went to get Barnes back from Russian prison and she didn’t want to wait. But that’s Bucky. They have their history. Things no human should experience and they anchor each other. Or they used to. Widow didn’t remember poor kid. Not anymore. Stupid brain-washing. And kid’s an idiot. Not the point.

He focused on shooting. It’s relaxing. It’s getting dark when he noticed something.

It was a split of second. A part of the shadow moving. He turns fully expecting to see Natasha and question her priorities. It would get him his ass kicked since he wouldn’t hear her yelling but at least it would be entertaining.

It’s not her. It’s Bobbi standing in the doors looking beaten up and fresh from the op judging by the blood on her clothes. Her hair was a mess and she looked tired but she still smirked at him

“what  have you gotten yourself into?” she can sign. She learned while being his wife even though they had bought him hearing aids.

He guessed she would taunt him about his luck if it didn’t require moving. Suddenly the only thing he wanted was  to hear her voice mocking him. Obviously he couldn’t. and she’s hurt.

“Me? You’re the one bleeding on the floor”

She laughed. Or at least looked like she’s laughing a little. They moved to the kitchen and she took of her dress. If not for the fact that it was dirty it also smelled like gun powder. Never saying a word she took one of his T-shirts and went straight to the bathroom to wash away the blood. Clint’s been watching her carefully. There were no deep wounds, mostly bruises and few cuts, it certainly looked worse at the beginning. He didn’t move until she came back and started looking for something in his cabinet. Her hair was damp and she was wearing his clothes. Like old times. Ironic when you think about the fact that they’ve just divorced.

Clint kept watching her in silence. Bobbi, his ex-wife. thought dead way too many times. He lost focus for a second and the next thing he knew was that she was pouring him his own whisky. Apparently he had forgotten about it otherwise it would be long gone. Something was wrong. She didn’t drunk whisky. He raised his eyebrows in silent question and she signed back: “You don’t have anything else and I’m not going to go to get us wine”

Wait what. Was she staying? And what the hell was wrong she wasn’t  a drinker. Not like him anyway she liked her wine, sometimes vodka with Natasha but that’s it. “Are you okay?”

Bobbi was silent for a moment thinking how to put everything in words. Finally she raised her head and started carefully signing.

“You could’ve died, sport. And I wouldn’t even be here. Op went south and Hill told me on the way back. It’s good I still have a job after what I said to her” she chuckled lightly. “You know what’s the worst, lover? She said that considering our divorce she wasn’t sure if she should bother me at all but she thought that Natasha couldn’t come check on you so maybe I’d manage to come and say hi” She didn’t even notice she called him “lover” again. He did. She was laughing again but she looked like she was ready to cry. It was Bobbi. She wouldn’t cry on the helicarrier if he died. Or during the op. Hell she would fought till the mission was the success and breakdown would come later. “I know that you and Natasha are partners, I love her but I used to be your wife. I care about you, you idiot and I didn’t know.” She stopped signing to have a long sip of her whisky. Her hands were steady. And against his predictions she didn’t cry. She just looked beaten up. Like she was so angry that it exhausted her.

They were sitting next to each other by the counter, the distance between them smaller than it should be. Her eyes kept wandering around the room so he covered her hand with his to get her attention back.

“I’m alright. Hill can go to hell, if my ass gets buried you can be sure Natasha will call you. She knows better than to trust our new director”

“Don’t even say that”

“Look at the bright side, I can’t talk you to death with nonsense. And if I start there’s a high chance you won’t understand my rambling” he grinned at her trying to ease the grave mood they had. Usually it was Bobbi being snarky in the situations that certainly didn’t require it.

“How are you holding up?”

“I miss voices. I can see you talking now but I can’t remember the exact sound of your voice, it’s the first thing you forget about the person you know? And I just wish I could hear the sound of you”

She looked at him with that sadness still lingering and poured them another glass.

“What about Kate?”

“What about her?”

“Do you still  remember everything about her? Kid’s been gone for two months now” she sips from her glass and watches his hands but not his face.

“Comes and goes with pieces. I screwed up. Completely. I hope she’s coming back.” He sighed. Kate. The only not-complicated variable in his life. To think about it he was the one to complicate all of the others. Tough life.

“She will. You know that, lover” then the lover again. Clint didn’t think she cared at this point. His hand was resting beside hers. There was something left unspoken but he couldn’t put a finger on what it was.

“She’s your fan you know that, right?” Bobbi looked surprised “When she started this whole superhero staff she took your mask and your weapon. And my bow. And she kept asking about how did you become an Avenger and how to use that weapon of yours perfectly because she only knew the basics.”

“When she comes back, I can show her” “when” not “if” and she was smiling again. That was a good day.

“And… Jess… how is she? Because obviously she’s not talking to me so…”

“The three of us got drunk, talked shit about you and everything is fine.”  He blinked. Oh right. Jess, Nat and Bobbi. His exes. Of course they would do that. Bobbi just winked at him.

“I think Jess is seeing someone. Not sure who though. I’ll catch up with her soon.” Another glass. Bobbi was a good company. Kind of like  Barney. He didn’t even notice that they weren’t using words.

“And you?” now he didn’t really mean to ask. Private stuff and none of his business anymore. But it was Bobbi. And he cared.

She looked him in the eyes and very slowly shook his head. She opened her lips slightly as if she was considering talking aloud.  Still holding her eyes on his face she asked:

“Cherry?”. Slowly so he could lip-read her. He used to be quite good at this. Lifetime ago. Quite literally. He stopped her gently from getting another glass of alcohol.

“No one” he pronounced it slowly to get it right for sure.

She raised her hand and touched his face, his new scars from almost mortal wound. So close. They were flirting with death but usually it was her. She thought he died few times but he never came this close to it. Not since she was back.

Her fingers traced lightly the fractured tissue. Clint missed her. He was happy she stayed around even after the divorce. He really hated that word. He wanted to touch her too. He took the strand of her damp hair and tucked it behind her ear. His hand lingered. It was an old trick and he knew that Bobbi realized that. Or at least he really hoped so because he didn’t want to play her. He just needed her.

“I wondered where were you when I woke up. I was expecting loud yelling about my stupid decisions. I was afraid they might somehow get to you” he had to stop touching her to tell this. But it was important for her to know that he thought of her. That he didn’t think she just left.  “I care about you, Birdie”

She smiled at him and traced her thumb over his lower lip. If she didn’t stop they’re going to make something stupid. And he doesn’t really mind. he squeezes her hand lightly and looks at her when she leans in to kiss him. Bobbi. It’s gentle and hesitant so unlike her but she’s tired and fully aware of doing the wrong  since she promised herself she wouldn’t do that again. But he was alive… She can feel his hand resting on the side of her neck. It was never like that. They were full of passion to each other and they never held back. It’s different now and to be honest gentleness was killing her. She pulled back slightly and smirked at him

“You’re scared of me, sport?”

He rolled her eyes at her and kissed her again, it was soft but there was passion behind it. She welcomed it with relief, he wanted it, he wanted her just as she did. His hand was in her hair and she was tugging at his shirt. There was desperation in how slow they were trying to go. To savour it. To celebrate that they’re alive. That they had each ,  they’re not alone. He kept kissing  her all night.


End file.
